A Time For Everything

The devotion from Bella’s Sweet Dreams Princess Bible that I read to her the other night was from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.  The simplicity and realness of the words brought me to tears.

There is a right time for everything.  Everything on earth has its special season.

There is a time to be born and a time to die.

There is a time to plant and a time pull up plants.

There is a time to kill and a time to heal. (This is where my tears began.)

There is a time to destroy and a time to build.

There is a time to cry and a time to laugh.

There is a time to be sad and time to dance.

There is a time to throw away stones and a time to gather them.

There is a time to hug and a time not to hug.

There is a time to look for something and time to stop looking for it.

There is a time to keep things and a time to throw things away.

There is a time to tear apart and time to sew together.

There is a time to be silent and a time to speak.

There is a time to love and a time to hate.

God knows it is time, time for me to reap in laughter what has been sown in tears, and to live the abundant life.

photogram-75371de2

What’s Next?

Tonight I’m wondering about my future.  Presently, I am deeply sunken in Mommyhood, spending all of my days taking care of our 4 year old, 3 year old, and 1.5 year old.  I am woken up at 7 am every morning, after having at least a couple of extras end up in our bed some time during the night, usually by the pouncing, and jumping, and laughing, and squealing of all 3 of our children…or by my husband who informs me that he’s walking out the door and our children are awake and waiting for breakfast…or by the screams that come from my extremely, melodramatic, 3 year old daughter, who is being antagonized by either one of her brothers.  There is, however, the rare occasion that I do actually wake up at 5 am, the time I set my alarm for to ensure that I have enough time to myself…to dress, fellowship with God, enjoy the quiet, and to not feel like a zombie.  So then my day usually consists of fixing our meals and then cleaning up the kitchen (at least 3 times a day), rushing my little girl to the potty and cleaning up the mess if we didn’t make it on time, making the beds, picking up toys and trying to get the kids to actually help (usually a dozen times).  And then, either vacuuming, laundry, or other cleaning, and trying to remember to stop and play with the kids, or read my Bible, or to just sit.  Then putting the kids down for their nap, picking up the toys (again), putting the kids back in their beds (a number of times), and then finally getting to enjoy the quiet with some solitude or a nap for myself.  And then, going to the grocery store, or meeting family for dinner, or a service at church, coming back home to put everyone in bed, trying to keep them in their beds, picking up the toys (yet again), and hopefully, if I’m not already asleep at this point, finishing up any unfinished chores and spending time with my Hubby.  It is exhausting, and sometimes overwhelming, but it is my life, and I love it. 

I do, however, have nights like tonight where I wonder, what will I do when this season is past?  What am I going to do when my kids are older and involved in things that don’t include me?  I know that they are not the sum total of who I am, but right now they take up so much of me that it’s hard to see anything different for me. 

I use to enjoy writing, and was actually majoring in journalism at one time.  I was also majoring in early childhood and special education when I graduated from the local college with a 4.0 and an associates in arts and humanities, having taken and aced chemistry 104 and 105.  At one point I was planning on going to the Hair Design School, not because it was the only other option outside of college, but because it was an actual passion of mine.  I have a harp, and used to take lessons, and I have self-learned to play the piano.  I’ve attempted, but not yet conquered the guitar, and one of my secret desires is to own and play a ukulele.  I sing and play for one of our worship teams at church, and help lead other worship/prayer sets that we have throughout the week.  I am a “Mary” deep down, in that I love to worship and just sit in the presence of Jesus. 

I love God, and I love my family, and I am very comfortable with my identity being in Him and in them.  But I still wonder some times, is there more that I’m supposed to be doing?  Should I be going back to school, or do something else to prepare myself for the other seasons that will come in life?  How do all the things that I love and have a passion for work together into an actual path for me to walk on? 

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. ~Proverbs 3:6

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” ~Isaiah 30:21

Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. ~Proverbs 16:3

Spring

The Lord keeps speaking to me about Spring.  I say speaking to me, and what I mean by that is that I keep feeling this internal energy and liveliness surrounding the thoughts of Spring.  I woke up one morning to a quiet Spring rain, and I can’t really explain why, but it gave me a sweet joy.  It just felt like exactly what I needed.  The overcast, grey sky; the puddles of water gathering in all the low places in the ground; it all just seemed to bring me peace.  And then a few days later while we were eating breakfast, Judah looked out the window and exclaimed, “Mommy, our doves our back!”  Judah has grown a fondness of the doves that come and make their nests around our home.  We have always had a family of doves that make their home close to ours, and it touches my heart that even our children take note of their presence among us…I believe they are here with us for a reason.  So as Judah proclaimed the return of the  doves I heard “The winter is past [...] Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land” ~Song of Solomon 2:11-12.  And there’s a song by Jessie Rogers Goodman, Seasons, that keeps playing in my heart.  It says:

Summer skies, heaven’s opened wide, You make Your face to shine through the morning light

Autumn rain is crying out Your name, and though the colors change, Lord you will remain

Winter snow, bringing you so close, I know you’ll be here through the end

Lover’s spring, life to all You bring, and I can hear you sing the song of You and me  

Seasons by Jessie Goodman

Such a beautiful song, and it has brought such a lovely peace to my soul.  Everything in creation, even creation itself, goes through seasons of change — it’s the way of life — and through every season God remains faithful.  He’s the same; he never changes.  He is holy and righteous, and good, and true, and we can always rely on him.  In the good times and the bad, He is here.  He has always been, and He will always be.  But the season of Spring has come.  Winter is over, and the Lord is near.  His love is in the air, so close, you can breathe it in.  Read Ecclesiastes 3.