Author: Amanda Graham

2012 Brought Me Joy

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The thing about experiencing tragedy at the end of the year is that you can easily forget all the wonderfulness of the previous months.  2012 was a great year for us…getting settled in our new home, starting homeschool, introducing Judah to baseball and discovering his talent for it, letting Bella have at try at soccer and me at coaching, a summer full of fun, getting Bella into dance and watching her do something she loves, joining a homeschool group, having tons of birthday party fun, the homegoing of my grandmother, and so much more.

One of our greatest joys was discovering that we were expecting our 4th child.  It was a very special time for us.  Bella was getting ready to turn 4, and as the time grew closer, I asked her what she wanted for her birthday.  Her response was always the same, “A baby sister.”  It had started early that year when I was grocery shopping with the kids.  We were in Sam’s and passed by a mother that had a tiny little baby girl in a stroller.  Judah looked at me and said, “Look at that baby girl Mommy…I want a baby sister.”  I reminded him that he had one, that Bella was his baby sister, but he responded with, “No, I mean a little one like that,” pointing at the newborn.  From that moment, both Judah’s and Bella’s desire for a new baby sister only grew, and spread to Justice, and eventually to me and Jason.

So it was very special to us when we discovered that I was pregnant the week of Bella’s birthday.  We shared our happy news at her party, and from then, our excitement and joy only grew.  The kids talked about our new baby every day, especially Bella, who would often cry at bedtime that she missed her baby sister.  (From day one, it was a baby sister. It didn’t matter how many times we explained to them that we didn’t know yet if it was a boy or a girl; they were certain it was a girl. And so were Jason and I.)  She couldn’t wait to have her and made sure that every night when we prayed we thanked God for our new baby.  And by the time Christmas was here, even Justice was saying that what he wanted for Christmas was his baby sister.  She was already very much wanted and loved.

There are no words for the grief we felt when we got the news that are baby no longer had a heartbeat, so I won’t even try to convey it.  Instead, what I’d like to share is the joy she brought us in the 12 weeks she was in our lives.  Although we didn’t see her, or hold her in our arms, her life touched ours.  She is forever a part of our family for she was created for eternity.  I don’t understand why things happen the way they do, but what I do know is that my baby’s life will glorify the Lord.  In this I have comfort, and I have joy.

So 2012 was a good year for us, a very good year indeed.  It brought laughter and tears, and joy and sorrow.  It brought me my second daughter, and her name is Arianna Joy, and I am forever grateful for her life.

What does my future hold?

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So I have let myself lose track of time again.  And once again, I have let too much time pass without writing anything.  Even though I haven’t met it in a long time, I set a little personal goal for myself of writing at least once a week.  Writing is important to me.  I love to do it for many reasons, and I actually use to be fairly good at it.  It started out as my first career choice with print journalism being my first major.  But I quickly learned that it would suit me better to leave writing as something I could just do for enjoyment on the side.  So I changed my major to early childhood education, then more specifically to special education.  Which, in a way, is what I am doing now…I am educating my 3 children (all 5 and under) in a very specialized, one-0n-one style through home school.  But I often wonder, now that life has brought me this far (married, 3 young kids, and possibly more in the future) without having actually completed my formal degree, “Will I ever go back and finish school?”  “And if so, what will I do?”  “Continue with education, or perhaps go back to my first choice of writing?”  “Maybe I could teach writing?”  “What does my future hold?”

These are the thoughts I am thinking as I have a just a few moments of quiet while the kids are napping, and before I must continue with my long list of chores today.

Thankful

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It’s Friday, the end of a crazy week, but that doesn’t really make me feel better because I know next week is scheduled to be even crazier.  But for now, the kids are playing quite nicely upstairs, and I have a few moments of quiet, which in itself is something to be thankful for.

But I would also like to spend these few moments practicing thankfulness for something else, Jason’s job.  6 years ago we moved to Louisville for Jason to take a full-time youth pastor position.  It was actually a pay cut for him, but I had just recently started working full-time (with benefits) at  J C Penney (I had just completed my Associate’s degree and was planning on finishing school at U of L after we got settled into the new house), and our housing and utilities were completely covered by the church, so all would be fine.  But…2 weeks after we moved we found out that I was pregnant.  We hadn’t exactly been trying, and had actually just decided that we needed to wait a little longer before we did have a baby, but that didn’t change how incredibly happy and thrilled we were.

But it did come at a price, for I became so sick (I’d like to emphasize that sick is really an understatement here — I was so much more than just sick, but for lack of a better word, sick will suffice.) that I was no longer able to work.  So we lost our health insurance and had even less money to live on every month, and with a baby on the way.  As hard as it was though, we were always taken care of.  (I could write a whole other blog on the miraculous provision of God during that time, but it will have to wait for another time.)

So Judah was born, and although we were living a modest life, we couldn’t have been happier.  Judah was 6 months old when we discovered that I was pregnant with Arabella — another surprise, but such a good one.  We were tickled pink (literally pink) that we were gonna have another bundle of joy, but it was right about the same time that the church had decided to make Jason’s position part-time and not pay him a salary anymore.  Our housing would still be provided, but Jason now had to find another job.  This led to him going back to school to get an IT degree, which I have to admit, I fought him about this.  With a 6 month old baby, and another one on the way, I did not want the kind of life where he would work 40 hours a week and then spend even more time on school, and have very little time and energy left for his family.  We had many serious conversations about it, but ultimately I gave in and stopped trying to convince him not to do it.  I honestly didn’t believe it was the best decision, but I saw how determined he was so I tried my best to support him.  I just want to state, for the record, I couldn’t have been more wrong.  Jason was right, and I was wrong.

I don’t know where we would be, if he hadn’t made the decision to go back to school, for over the course of 6 weeks, he put in his application and submitted his resume to so many places, tirelessly, and never heard anything.  Weeks went by, and we began to wonder what on earth we were gonna do.  One night Jason was talking with one of his new classmates in the course he had just signed up for, and his instructor heard how he was needing a job and spoke up, “You need a job?  I’ll give you a job.”  And just like that, Jason had the exact job in the career field he was wanting.  It was what he was going back to school for.  Jason’s two instructors, that were co-teaching his classes, had started their own software development company, and they hired him to come and work with them, before he had completed his first month of school!  So while he was going to school for software development, he was getting to work, with pay, and get on the job training as well.  Oh, and he got to, and still does, work from home.  So our family life didn’t suffer at all.  It really seemed too good to be true, but we know God really is that good.

So Jason has been with his company for 4 years now, and I have no question that he is where God has placed him.  It is the greatest company to work for.  His 2 bosses, that started out as his instructors, have not only been so good to him career-wise, they have been good friends to our family as well.  They are truly great people with great families.  And over the past 4 years, God has really blessed the company expanded it with even more great people.

Just one more thing I’m thankful for in regards to Jason’s work…God has also opened the door at Sullivan University so that he is now the instructor for the same courses he had taken just a few short year before — another HUGE blessing.  All of this has provided the way for me to be able to stay at home and raise our kids, and to do home school (2 very important dreams of mine), and to do it all in the house of our dreams.  Last thanksgiving, we got to move into our very first home, and it’s exactly what we wanted in every way.  Now, you won’t see our house on HGTV as a million dollar home, but it really is our dream home.  It met everything on our wish list, even the things that we really weren’t expecting to get, and then some extras that we weren’t even considering.  And just for some fun facts…our gray-siding house was built in 2004, the year Jason and I were married.  Also, Graham means “from the gray home.”

So, I am thankful for the amazing provision of God, I’m thankful for his incredible plans for our lives and the desire He gives us to follow them, and I’m thankful for the amazing man that Jason is and how hard he works.  And I’m incredibly thankful that he did not give in and listen to me…that one time.

A Lesson in Parenting from Psalm 19

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There is a passage in Psalms that I have been thinking a great deal on.  Psalm 19:7-11 says

The instruction of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is trustworthy, making the inexperienced wise.  The precepts of the Lord are right, making the heart glad; the commandment of the Lord is radiant, making the eyes light up.  The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever; the ordinances of the Lord are reliable and altogether righteous.  They are more desirable than gold — than an abundance of pure gold; and sweeter than honey — than honey dripping from the comb.  In addition, Your servant is warned by them; there is great reward in keeping them.

I have recently felt the Lord leading me to spend some time in Psalms to have my joy and passion stirred.  When I came to this passage I couldn’t get away from it; I just kept reading it over and over, knowing that there was something more that I was supposed to get than what I was already understanding.  After spending a couple of days meditating on these words, my thoughts shifted from dwelling on myself and moved onto my children…

Are my instructions for our children perfect to the point of reviving their souls?  Is the testimony that I share with them trustworthy enough to give them wisdom?  Are my rules right?  Do they make my children’s hearts glad and give them joy?  Do my commands lead them to light?  Are they reliable and altogether righteous?  Is what I’m teaching my children more desirable than gold and sweeter than honey?  Will it lead them to a sweet, rich life?  Will it lead them to righteousness and keep them from evil?  Will they find great reward in what they learn from me?

So now, I find myself with the need to reevaluate my parenting – my goals, motivations, and priorities — and gratefully so.  I am thankful that I have The Good Father to guide me and teach me how to be the mother he desires me to be.

Happy Homeschooler

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I am currently reading the Joyful Home Schooler, and the author, Mary Hood, does make a good point in the area of literacy.  She emphasizes that learning to read and write is as natural of a process as learning to walk, as long as we create an environment of literacy in our homes.  In other words, our children will have a desire to learn to read and write if they see mom & dad reading and writing on a regular basis.  Of course, that being said, it does taking coaching from mom and dad.  Just like we have to show our babies to take steps, and our toddlers how to use the potty, reading and writing also requires teaching.  But it certainly does not have to be in the form of formal lessons; it can come simply by answers to “Mommy what’s that word?” and “Daddy what sound does that letter make?”  If bedtime stories are a cherished part of your daily routine, as they are ours, then your child’s own curiosity will begin the process of learning to read.

On a side note, I am enjoying home schooling my children.  We made the decision to go this way with our children’s education for so many reasons that I don’t want to go into right now…but let me just say it has been a joy to me.  I can’t quite explain how, but it just feels like it completes the picture for our family.

We first started home schooling in early spring this year.  I wanted to start Judah in Kindergarten early so that if we decided we needed to enroll him in public school we would still have plenty of time.  We took our own little “summer break” through the month of July because we had so many special activities going on with us and our extended families.  So, we’ve been back at it the past week and a half and I have to say I definitely prefer having a regular routine.  I can really relate to young children who need a consistent schedule and stability.  I need it just as much as them.  I feel myself being happier throughout the day when I know that there’s a purpose to all of our goings on.

I’ve added doing PreK with Bella now, and I’m really pleased with how things are going with her, and Judah.  I’ve tried my best to correlate both of their work so that we can all still study the same theme every week:  same letter sound, same bible lessons, same science and art projects.  And Justice jumps in on all the songs and games, and then spends the rest of the time coloring (a lot…he loves to color) and doing centers, which equates to playing with blocks or cars mostly.

We’ve also joined the FAITH home school group which gives us even more opportunities for learning and connecting with our community.  I’m really excited about this year, and I’m really happy with how everything is going.

 

Spiderman Birthday Party

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Our Amazing Judah turned 5 this year and we just had  to celebrate Spidey style.  Judah has been in love with Spiderman since some time around last summer-fall, but not because he had seen any of the movies or comics or cartoons; Judah fell in love with Spiderman when he saw a costume in the store.  So for 9 months, he had been asking for a Spiderman birthday party.

Now that he’s 5, and has a much stronger opinion about everything, I wanted to throw Judah a “super cool” party – one that he would say was cool.  In May we gave Justice an Elmo party that involved turning our entire dining room into Elmo’s World using butcher paper and crayons.  It was a huge hit with the kids, so I wanted to do something just as big and special for Judah’s party.

Of course, my first and foremost goal is to make my child’s day special without blowing our budget, so I try to make most of the decorations…this is where it takes a lot of creativity, and it helps that my mother-in-law has the Cricut and is a really good sport for all my ideas.  I also found a couple of blogs out there that had some cool ideas that I incorporated into our party.  I just searched “spiderman birthday party.”  So here are all of my ideas, almost all homemade:

For the invitations I got this idea from a blog I found.  I printed a free online coloring page of spiderman’s head on red cardstock and cut it out.  Then I cut a slightly smaller shape from spiderman comic books and glued on the back side.  I got some used, inexpensive comics from a local comic store for this.  Then I printed the party info on vellum and stuck on top of the comics.  I had to use special vellum tape  = $6.

  My first idea for decorating was to make a giant web and have it suspended in the air…some black yarn and time was all I needed for this…a big impression for cheap = huge success.  I then added to my original thought by connecting the web to a spiderman cut-out to make it look like Spiderman was shooting the web.  I accomplished this in two ways.  The first was made with a spiderman poster and some foam board = $7.  The second was made from a spiderman gift bag I had leftover from another birthday party.  I simply cut the spiderman figure out and glued it to a poster board I already had = free!  Here’s how they turned out

As far as other decorations go, I made pom-poms out of tissue paper, as well as bought a couple of lanterns. My mother-in-law made webs and call-out sign with her Cricut. She also had a cartridge that made cityscapes that I used. And I did buy a banner and spiderman cups (they held candy) that was on clearance at our local party store.

I also incorporated a large cityscape painted on a poster board. I just used a small cityscape that was cut out with the Cricut, and a projector, and traced and painted. I put the large cityscape on the party favor table.

As far as party favors, I try to keep them simple and not spend too much money on them because, as a mom of 3 little kids, I know where they end up…lost or in the trash. So, I got the idea to make these fry boxes from a blog I found, also made with the Cricut, so all we had to do was fold and glue them. I decorated them with a tiny cityscape, a call-out, and a sticker. I made the boy and girl boxes a little different, but that was mostly because I could only find 1 pack of spiderman masks. So I gave those to the boys, and made girl masks from a foam kit I found at Walmart. Then I threw in some spidey tattoos, spiderman pinata candy, and a spiderman coloring page.

For food we had Doc Ock hot dogs, with chili to go along with it. Bugles in honor of the Daily Bugle, the newspaper that Peter Parker photographs for. My husband made our own copy of the newspaper for this special occasion. As far as the cake goes, I just have to say I have an amazing cake lady. She gets all the credit for her work.

Here are just a few extra photos to complete the picture

All in all, everything turned out very nice. I think all the kids had fun, and Judah was very happy with everything. All the hard work paid off with another successful party.

A Walk Down Memory Lane Part

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Although, I can’t recall the exact moment when I actually met Jason for the first time, I also can’t remember when I didn’t know him.  We grew up going to the same summer church camp, so as far back as I can remember I’ve always known who he and his family were.  But I do remember when and where our story begins.

I was 15 when we had our meet-cute.  13 years ago at Camp Nikao, we started “hanging out” together…or at least within the same circle of friends.  To be a little more specific, my best friend Julia, with whom I went to camp with every year, met a boy–enough said.  But to further elaborate, Julia met Danny, who is now her husband, which is how most love stories that happen at camp end–happily ever after in marriage.

But back to my original thought, I, being 15, younger than most everyone else at camp that year, was kinda left lonely and wondering what to do when Julia started spending most of her time with Danny.  I was happy for her, but at the same time was feeling very much left out.  I wasn’t outgoing enough to make new friends on my own, and had it not been for Grace and Julie, I probably would have spent the entire week in solitude.  But Grace and Julie, who were older, felt sorry for me and started pulling me in with them their friends.  That was when I first met Jason for myself, I guess you could say.  Jason was a long-time friend of Grace.

I remember one morning in particular, we were hanging around one of the picnic tables in the shade just talking and laughing.  And for some reason I decided to share the experience I had in the shower that morning — I was washing my face and had somehow managed to get the facial cleanser up my nose.  This of course made me sneeze, and when I sneezed, I sneezed out bubbles.  It’s a rather silly story, but it made everyone laugh, and it made Jason laugh.  And it was just one of those moments that I can never forget.  At that point, I hadn’t been the outgoing, fun, funny type person.  I had pretty much been a quiet, quite shy girl, only socializing with my few closest friends.  But there I was in a circle of older people, and I actually said something that made everyone laugh.  It was a small joy, but a joy nonetheless that I experienced, and Jason played a significant role in it. And now that I think about it, this is a HUGE part of our story because laughing together, and making each laugh has become a very important staple of our marriage.

So at that time I was 15 and Jason was either 20 0r 21, depending on what week of June it was.  Obviously, nothing came out of that week of camp except for getting acquainted with one another, and perhaps a little harmless flirting…He told me, and I quote, “I wish I was 15 [...] So I could ask you to the Banquet.”  The Banquet was a big fancy dinner on the last night of camp that was notoriously known as the date night.  I’m not even sure how it all began, but every year they would do a nice dinner for the last night of camp, and somewhere along the way boys and girls starting asking each other to go to the Banquet.  Much like a school dance I guess, except this was church camp.  And when Jason made that statement to me, I do believe he was asking me if I would go to the Banquet with a guy in his cabin who was to shy to ask for himself.  I, not knowing this guy beyond seeing him across a crowded room, asked Jason’s advice, “Do you think I should?”  And he assured me that he was a really nice guy, so I agreed.  Of course, the whole thing is just ridiculous to me now, the epitome of teenage silliness.  But I sat next to and ate the Banquet dinner with this guy, whom I didn’t know and didn’t even speak to I think.  Luckily, Grace and Julie and Jason were sitting with us too, so it wasn’t too awkward.  True Story.

So I walked away from that week of camp thinking that Grace and Julie and Jason were all very nice and so sweet for letting me hang out with them.  To me, it was an act of sympathy on their part to boost the self-esteem of a 15-year-old girl.  Which, for the most part, I think it was…but, there was definitely an impression made.

To be continued…

 

Cheer-up Cookies

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This is how I spent naptime today. We were talking about cheering people up today in school, and Bella and Judah both said they needed cheering up, and honestly, so did I. So I thought this might do the trick. Family cookies~Daddy, Mommy, Judah, Bella, & Justice. Letter A and Number 4 in a repeating pattern. Baseball cookies for the boys. Heart cookies for Bella. Everyone loved them, even Daddy and his “perfect women” who is sweet and doesn’t nag ;)  Success…happy family = happy mommy :D

Update

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I’m feeling a little guilty for neglecting my blog.  Life has gotten eventful in recent weeks, and every time I would sit down to write, something would pull me away.  But, however bad this turns out to be, I promised myself I’d actually finish this time.

Bella played her last soccer game last night, which as fun as it was, I have to say I am relieved.  I loved watching her play (when she actually did), but in the meantime, T Ball started.  So for a little while, we had sports 4 nights a week.  But that wasn’t so bad…until Judah’s games were rescheduled on the same night as Bella’s soccer practice.  So I would have to tell myself it was okay to miss his game to coach Bella’s soccer team, but it didn’t make it any easier.

Also, during all of our running around Justice got strep throat.  Nothing to serious or anything we couldn’t handle.  We caught it early, and he was feeling better soon.  However, just a week later Judah got sick and we found out that he has asthma :( It was rough for a while, a little scary for this mommy, but all is fine now.  And he played awesome at his first game.

Mother’s Day was great this year.  After spending time with most of my family, I got to do my favorite thing…come home and get in my pjs and spend the night with my favorite people.

Last Saturday was the most eventful.  After staying up all night getting things ready for Justice’s birthday party, we headed to Radcliff at 8:30 am to the Walk for Life, a fundraiser we participate in every year for our local pregnancy crisis center.  My mom and I walked 2 miles, pulling a wagon that contained my 3 kids and weighed roughly 80 pounds.  We then grabbed something to eat before Judah’s baseball game, went to Judah’s baseball game, then ran a few last-minute errands for the big birthday party…all in the blazing heat.  I finally got home that evening to finish some yard work and decorating, so that, thanks to Brandon and Shannon, we turned our dining room into Elmo’s World for Justice’s Elmo Party.

Brought to you by the Letter J and the Number 2

So we had Justice’s big Elmo Birthday Party on Sunday, which was a huge success!  Everything turned our perfect, and we all had fun, especially the birthday boy.  But that’s a whole other blog that will come later.  Here’s just a preview

Also this month, Jason got sick, I got poison ivy (still have it :( ), and my dad had surgery.  We’ve had our fair share of soccer games, baseball games, doctor visits, hospital visits, weddings, birthdays, and everything in between.  It’s been eventful, and exhausting, to say the least.  But this month is almost over, and we just have 3 birthdays and 1 holiday weekend to go.  If I could, I’d hibernate for the summer…but as it is, I’ll just have to settle for letting this day be pajama day.