I’m afraid that today’s blog is coming from a point of aggravation.  On top of the emotional rollercoaster I’ve been on, I still have all the little every day frustrations to deal with, and I’m just going to go ahead and admit, up front, that I have not been doing a good job.  The recent turn of events has left us shattered, and now that all the smoke has cleared and the ashes have settled, I find myself struggling to pull the all the pieces of our lives back together.  Difficult could not even begin to describe the task that I am now facing.  Needless to say, whatever can go wrong will, and just when I feel like the pieces are falling back into place, it all falls apart again.

Right now we should be doing our school lesson, but instead, Judah sits on his bed – feeling sorry, no doubt, along with a bunch of other emotions – and me, I’m desperately trying to find my composure and the strength to hold it together.  I know my little boy better than anyone, and this just isn’t him today, but I haven’t been myself either. My children now know, too personally, the sting of death, and a little bit more of their innocence has been taken away. I just don’t know how to handle their fragile little emotions and still do what we need to do. I’m not sure how to handle my emotions and still do what we need to do.  I really have not been doing a good job.  God please help me, because now it’s time to pull it together, and feed my family lunch, and try to carry on with our day.  Jesus, You who makes all things new, help me to salvage this day.  It’s never too late for goodness.  It’s never too late for goodness.  It’s never too late for goodness.